Hippocratic Oath For Software Engineers:

  • Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.

  • Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something like:

 AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));

  • Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference those include files.

  • Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary in the world should be generated from the same sources.

  • Never code a function to return a value. All functions must return a pointer to a structure which contains a pointer to a value.

  • Load all sentences either written or spoken with alphabet soup. When someone asks you out to lunch, reply:

 "I can't because I've almost got my RISC-based OSI/TCP/IP
 client connected by BIBUS VMS VAX using SMTP over TCP
 sending SNMP inquiry results to be encapsulated in UDP
 packets for transmission to a SUN 4/280 NFS 4.3 BSD with
 release 3.6 of RPC/XDR supporting our ONC effort working."

  • Never clean your office. Absolutely never throw away an old listing.
  • Never say hello to someone in hallway. Absolutely never address someone by name. If you must address someone by name, mumble or use the wrong name. Always maintain the mystique of being spaced out from concentrating on complex logic.
  • Never wear a shirt that matches your pants. Wear a wrinkled shirt whenever possible. Your shirt must never be tucked in completely. Button the top button without wearing a tie. This will maximize your mystique.

Posted via email from Karthi

9 Responses to “Hippocratic Oath For Software Engineers:”

  1. 1 Jesse Grillo September 5, 2017 at 4:34 am

    Thank you again. You are more fun than bubble wrap. I was going for a jog on Sunday when I heard about this.

  2. 2 Jesse Grillo September 4, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    I am reading your article while on a boat. I have learned new things through your website.

  3. 3 investment adviser September 4, 2017 at 11:39 am

    You could survive a Zombie apocalypse. Great tips and very easy to understand. You have a good head on your shoulders. Hi from Mississippi. You have the best ideas.

  4. 4 tech speaker September 3, 2017 at 8:22 am

    I am continually browsing online for tips that can help me. On a scale from 1 to 10, You are an 11. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thanks for sharing your info.

  5. 5 cannabis app September 2, 2017 at 6:36 am

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  6. 6 CEO adviser September 2, 2017 at 4:42 am

    Do you have you tube videos on the topic? Thank you.

  7. 7 Jesse Grillo Jesse Grillo September 1, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    great post. awesome job on this article!

  8. 8 new business speaker September 1, 2017 at 9:26 am

    Your website is absolutely on point! You always know just what to say. good job on this article! I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further website thank you once again.

  9. 9 Ankur Aggarwal November 16, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    wow I never knew this Karthi

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