Samples of stupidity!

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(19 August 1999, Seville, Spain) A professional French pickpocket used astoundingly poor judgment when selecting his most recent victim at the Seville Airport. The thief, who specializes in international events that attract crowds of visitors, thought he was in his element when he circled a group of young men and chose his prey. Little did he realize that he was dipping into the bag of Larry Wade, champion 110-meter hurdler for the US Athletic team. He was also spotted by Maurice Green, the fastest sprinter on Earth, capable of running 100 meters in 9.79 seconds. The two athletes quickly chased down the thief despite his hefty head start. The pickpocket attempted to pretend that he was just an innocent French tourist, but the entire episode was captured on film by a Spanish television crew that had been interviewing Mr. Greene at the time. “He chose the wrong man,” deadpanned a spokesman for the Civil Guard.

November 2000, England) Members of a Norfolk family were lucky to escape with their skins intact when 90 gallons of petrol stored in their garage unexpectedly ignited. What led to the explosion?

It turns out that these candidates for Least Intelligent Lifeform of the Universe had decided to stockpile petrol in readiness for potential fuel blockades. They purchased large water storage cans and began collecting fuel. But the seals on water cans are not suitable for corrosive materials.

The cans leaked, and flammable fumes filled the family garage — which also contained the house’s central heating boiler. When the temperature in the house dropped, the boiler switched on, igniting the fumes and creating a petrol fireball big enough to satisfy a Hollywood director. Although nobody actually died, the family wins an Honorable Mention for their disastrous ingenuity.

(13 May 1998, New Jersey) There’s apparently not much to do in Long Branch during the long May evenings. A 51-year-old man decided to satisfy his fantasy of robotic love by seeking sexual gratification with his vacuum cleaner. Most men would think twice before poking a valuable organ into a vacuum, but this optimistic fellow had no qualms about the safety of his intended course of action. And using a vacuum cleaner had the appealing aspect of tidying up his mess after satisfying him.

Our horny hero didn’t realize that the suction on his hand-held Singer A-6 was created by a blade whirling just beneath the hose attachment, adjacent to the collection bag. His search for pleasure was cut short seconds after he stuck his penis into the vacuum and the blade lopped off part of his penis. With a sense of loss, he staggered to the phone and called police. He told them that he had been stabbed in his sleep. When police pointed out suspicious evidence, the victim claimed not to remember the incident.

Surgeons at Monmouth Medical Center stopped the bleeding, but were unable to reattach the 1/2″ severed part. Though this man is still alive, his ability to reproduce has been curtailed by both his injury and his proclivity for household appliances.

And you can find more of these at Darwin Awards !

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1 Response to “Samples of stupidity!”


  1. 1 gp February 16, 2007 at 6:09 pm

    i read somewhere the mentos dude who drank diet coke and swallowed mentos was nominated too.


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