Plan
To be or not to be
“To be or not to be… that is the question.”
This question now has an answer and it is 0xff and there is an explanation for this unlike “the ultimate answer 42“.
0×2b | ~0×2b = 0xff
(via : embedded muse)
Leave letters
.
I hope these companies would not sue me! Yet another urban legend but funny enough to make us smile…
1. Infosys, Bangalore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.
2. This is from Oracle Bangalore: From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son:
“as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..”
3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding:
“as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..”
4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.” *
5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”
6. An incident of a leave letter
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.” *
7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today” *
8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
“As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.” *
9. Covering note:
“I am enclosed herewith…”*
10. Another one:
“Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…” *
11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.*
12. Letter writing: -
“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.” *
13. A candidate’s job application:
“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female’…As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.
Airtel’s customer support service
.

Getting to speak to a customer support service engineer in Airtel is real pain. Why don’t Airtel implement simple to use telephone customer service ?
I propose them the following simple decision tree.
When customer calls the support number, please provide him/her two choices; either he/she can choose to speak to person or the dumb machine.
Instead of this simple decision, I need to navigate those annoying recursive menus. There is no one menu which leads me to person. I really don’t know how I was able to speak to a person after spending thrity minutes on the phone. The funny part was, the support person is unable to tell me a way to reach her directly, according to her if I wish to talk to a person, I have to go through this enourmous pain.
What could have been a simple solution, is made overly complex by the designers. If I wanted to really express myself of the pain I experienced, then I should be really yelling bad words at them…
Update:
Now have some fun…

“Please hold… We’re going for record on how long customers will wait”

“Your call is important to us, but not important enough for us to hire additional staff to talk to you”

“Please listen carefully, as our menu makes no sense”
Source: HBR
.
Alien SMS…
.
Via : New Scientist
Alien competition runners up
HERE, as promised, are 10 runner-up entries in the Feedback New Year competition. We asked entrants to compose a text message in no more than 160 characters, sent by an alien who has just arrived on our planet. Some of last week’s winning contributors sent more than one entry that we particularly enjoyed, and three of these are included here.
No sign of survivors. Died out 65 million years ago. No need for return mission.
Thomas J. Lynch, Perkasie, Pennsylvania, US
Natives wonderful. Send ketchup.
Chris Mullard, London, UK
Too late. Another one overrun by Starbucks.
Len Cooke, Wokingham, Berkshire, UK
“Green” site not safe, had to splash down at “blue” site. Life abundant and highly intelligent. Locals say dry land is bandit country - very dangerous.
Colin Wainwright, London, UK
Marooned! On Earth there is but one science. Based on mere observation and logic, it forbids faster-than-light travel and our star drive is refusing to work.
Clive Bashford, London, UK
3rd planet-colonisation candidate. C02 rising and almost breathable.
John Alderson, Reading, Berkshire, UK
Anthropologists will have a field day here. They’ve got a creation myth that everything started with a “big bang”. They’ve even got the math to prove it.
Michael Parsons, Canberra, ACT, Australia
It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it.
Justin Byrne, Dublin, Ireland
Humans are not conscious beings but remote-controlled by little boxes pressed to the head or wires plugged into their ears.
Olaf Lipinski, Bad Homburg, Germany
This planet, mostly harmless, is chiefly remarkable for providing the best evidence so far that the limit of 160 characters on SMS messages is a universal const
Kim Bastin, Brunswick, Victoria, Australia
.
Werner Heisenberg hates …
.

Why did Werner Heisenberg hate driving cars ?
Because, every time he looked at the speedometer he got lost! (Chuck O’ Connel)
.

